Speaking of Family

If there's anyone reading who is eagerly looking forward to the next installment from my New York trip, I must apologize for stopping just as I hint at fun things to come. I have been uber-busy preparing for the visit of the moms, as a new friend of mine termed it. This week, my mom is coming to visit, her first visit to my home in my adult life. Packed through the years of my homemaking are memories of me thinking to myself, "If my mom saw this mess she'd be horrified." There has been a bit of comfort in knowing she wouldn't see all that mess. I tend to be messy. Perhaps my slight addiction to HGTV design shows are the yearnings of a messy wanting to impress her not-present Mom. I'm not quite sure what it will be like, having her away from her manipulative, anti-social alcoholic husband.

Well, I did learn some things from watching Design on a Dime and Mission: Organization, and my husband and I have been busy putting the guest wing (otherwise known as the bachelor pad) into some kind of order and presentability. Late nights, allergens, physical exertion, I'm just too tired to put the kind of energy into remembering and writing about my trip that I would like to, so it may be a while before I get back to it. I will though. It is a memory worth keeping.

So, starting on Thursday, I get to show my mom My Life, but not all of it. It would open just too big a can of worms to tell her about my supraloving life, and I don't wish that to muck up the short visit. It won't be easy, me being the forthright person that I am. As I said to Krissy and Steve, my problem is that if a conversation is going in a certain direction and the natural answer to a question is to reveal certain aspects of my life, I do. It doesn't occur to me that I don't need to go there. How could I begin to explain that my husband loving another woman has brought more love into my life? She would never get that, but simply believe I was merely tolerating that, and acting a slut to retaliate. (I do still have some friends who say, "And you're OK with that?") It will make it easier that I don't have some pent-up need to reveal my true self to my mom. I love her, but don't have much in common with her any more.

A couple weeks later, my mom-in-law comes to visit. We are also not out to her. Before we got married, she liked referring to herself and her husband as my out-laws. I wonder if she'd like to be an out-law again? Steve doesn't think so. Tomorrow, the final mile-long to-do list, along with the help of professionals for house cleaning and yard work.