Thanks on Thursday

Several things come to mind this week that I am thankful for.

This week we Mahayana Buddhists celebrated the Buddha's enlightenment, known as Bodhi Day, or Rohatsu. Some at a local temple stayed up all night chanting. I had Dharma School.

I am grateful for these clever uses of technology that find second uses for energies that are basically thrown away. This could be the wave of the future of green technology, I think. There are so many ways in which we expend energy that could be captured for reuse.

In Tokyo, the pounding of many commuters' feet will provide the power for the ticket gates and display systems. Elsewhere, the kinetic energy collected by a revolving door will send electricity back to the grid. It may not be a lot, but imagine if every single revolving door collected energy this way. I am grateful too for coffee, which gives many people the energy to get started. The used grounds make great compost and repel ants, and now there is another use: biodiesel. Better than corn or soybean oil, used coffee grounds will not take away from food sources. It also has natural components that act as a preservative, so it will last longer even than petrol diesel. With coffee shops every few blocks, Portland could be a great place for this to take off.

Speaking of Portland, we got a great write-up as a green city at InHabitat. They love our transit system, our bicyclability, the ease with which we can buy local (which they call locavorism), and our green policies. We don't just recycle...our city wants to reach a 75% recycle rate by 2015. I am looking forward to the curbside composting. I am so grateful I live in Portland. And as I told Jason, it's all because of him that I live here, so I'm grateful to and for Jason. If he hadn't got married, and if my first husband hadn't gone to Seattle to attend his wedding, and if Jason hadn't told him that Portland was a more affordable Pacific NW city, I might never have come here.

Thanks On Thursday: Blog Anniversary

Five years ago today I began writing this blog. My intention was to keep focused on the interesting bits of my life, and not get bogged down with petty details of life that are of no interest to others. I wanted to use it as a platform to explain myself, to show how it is not contradictory to be a Buddhist and a moral person, and to be non-monogamous.

I've loosened up my expectations of myself, using it for these things, but also as a way to remember myself, and to remember what I've done, what I've read, what I've imbibed in entertainment. In that way it has become closer to a journal I suppose, but I still write hoping to keep it interesting to someone else. This technology has even introduced me to a different way to read a book, slowly while blogging with others, so that even the reading voice in my head has changed.

This week I highlight my gratitude for this technology. Email, web, and social networking platforms have allowed me to express myself and to discover some people find my thoughts valuable and wise. This technology has also allowed me and others to make connections to organize in easy streamlined ways. I couldn't take care of a local chapter of the Buddhist Peace Fellowship so easily, nor have taken the lead on 5 years of putting together a local Buddhist Festival without this technology. All this would have moved along much more slowly, and perhaps would have fizzled. I couldn't even have rented the other side of our duplex so easily without this technology.

In the 5 years since I began, I have seen polyamory become more known to the mainstream. I think it was able to coalesce as a movement more quickly than similar ones in the past because of this technology. The wisdom of the masses could filtrate more quickly thanks to the ease of connection. The recognition of similar experiences also rose to the surface more quickly thanks to the ease of communication. Because we are not limited by geography, when we are radically different from the public face we aren't so lonely because we find others like us through this technology.

In this five years I've also learned that this blogging thing isn't just a platform to spew myself out there for others to find. It is an expansion of community, and works well when I as a writer recognize it as a dialog, not a monolog. It works well when I recognize the currency of this sphere is that of gifts. Not only do I give intimate pieces of myself for the view of others, if I give my attention to other bloggers with links and comments, they are more likely to give back to me. That is another thing about this technology that I am grateful for: the rediscovery of the currency of gifts.

Gratitude on Thanksgiving Thursday

I've been thinking all day about how to speak of gratitude on this day. So many people do, what can I say that adds to that?

Someone shared with me this NYT article about French settlers who arrived in what is now Florida several generations ahead of the English pilgrims. Their relationships with the locals were friendly, and they developed commercial and familial relationships. They were there for religious freedom. The Spanish Catholics decided there should not be any of these "Lutherans" in the area, so the French settlers were massacred. This little blip in our North American history is news to me, and I'm sure, to many who were brought up on the mythic stories of the Pilgrims and the Natives and the First Thanksgiving.

This is a day to give thanks; it is a day to remember with gratitude, but it is also a day to include in that gratitude remembrance of those who suffered in the creation of this moment. It is a day to acknowledge the myth, recognize a sharper version of the truth, ask how I may do my part to make amends, as well as invoke the gratitude that is always a part of me but not always front and center.

A dark and bloody history of massacred and marginalized Natives allows me to be here in this land at this moment. Their descendants are now among the poorest in the United States. May they be granted the equity they deserve in the years to come.

A dark and bloody history of slavery allows this country to be as rich as it is currently. Many of their descendants are still kept in the lower rungs of the economic world, and are still discriminated against. May they be granted the equity they deserve in the years to come.

The karma of generations cannot be undone in a moment, or in a year, or in a presidency. It cannot be turned around by simply erasing discrimination. Even if that miraculously happened, descendants of oppression need support as they climb out of the pit of negative karma that's been heaped on them. The karma of the 'haves' is completely intertwined with the karma of the 'have-nots.' May those that have find the grace to right the wrongs of past and present generations.

Another person on that email list wrote eloquently of not liking gratitude lists, because when you are grateful for something, it implies you will not be grateful if it goes away, and your expectations are doomed to breed resentment. Instead he is left with "gratitude plain and simple, not for this or that, but as a process of living." It hadn't occurred to me listing of gratitude for things could be understood that way. I am thankful for Buddhism for that wisdom of "no expectations." I am grateful for this life, and I like the way he put it, this "process of living," and for me part of that is gratitude for the stuff of this life. It is here now, so I am enjoying it. Indeed, awareness that this could all change tomorrow deepens my gratitude for today.

May there be much for my country and the world to be thankful for in the year to come.

Thanks on Thursday

Of course I am grateful that Barack Obama won the presidency. May he be safe and healthy and lead us and the world into a just and liberated age.

Tears of joy and gratitude hit me when I saw this:



What a jubilant crowd, what a place to be at that moment. I am grateful for feministing.com. Thanks to them, I know that even in Texas, 52% of women voted for Obama. See more here.

I am also grateful for the fall colors. While the weather that gave us such vivid reds and yellows is the same weather that has created prime allergy conditions for me, I still love the fall leaves. I can't recall more vivid colors in my life.

Some of those red trees have looked like otherworldly fire...especially at times of low sun, morning or evening.

Thanks on Thursday: Voting Early at the Library

This year I actually did not vote at the library even though I work there.

Funny story

My good friend and I decided to work on our ballots together. That's one thing I'm grateful for about voting early...by choice I can fill out my ballot while talking it over with someone else. We had a mix-up about where we were going to meet. I thought I was going to her house, she thought she was going to mine. By chance I had the use of the car, and I arrived at her house only to have her housemate tell me she was going to a friend's house, "Onji?" Oh, that's me. Enji to some. I called her, she came back to her home.

So she breezes in and flops on the floor in front of the coffee table, her keys and pack on the floor beside us. I've started to look at the voter's guide, and she opens a ballot. I'm talking about the ballot measures, and I realize she's been marking candidates on my ballot. Oops. Not only that, she already signed the envelope. After some teasing about committing a Class C Felony (no not really) and her housemate breezing by and saying that happened to him too and the ballot was accepted, we moved on. We had one different choice in local candidates, so she marked my choice on her ballot. Just to be sure my ballot wouldn't be rejected, with one crossed out signature, and my own above it, the next day I turned it in at the elections office. I just needed to black out her signature more thoroughly with a sharpie, and sign again in the white space on the envelope for good measure, just to be sure I hadn't scrunched my letters. I do know someone whose ballot was rejected because her signature didn't match well enough.

I turned in my and my sweetie's ballots on the 20th. I was hoping to avoid the cascade of campaign ads by turning it in early. I think it stopped most, but I'm still getting one or two oversize postcards a day.

Voting Ease

So I didn't vote at the library. Nevertheless I am grateful for voting at the library, and I am proud that I have a tiny part in supporting the cogs of democracy.

My coworkers and I have noticed that even though our signs are just shy of blinking neon, a noticeable number of people still ask where they can drop their ballots. (Circulation checkout is just to the left of the area in the photo above.) We suspect it is because people want some kind of recognition they are voting. One person today asked my coworker (his friend) to bless his ballot, and when I feigned umbrage, me too. We joked there should be a bell that dings, or bubbles or confetti released.

While a certain amount of the solemnity of the voting ritual is lost, the ease of being able to vote at the library, or by mail, or at a number of ballot drop-off sites certainly makes the process more democratic. As of today, 42% of the possible votes in my county are already in. Actually, that is slightly down from this time in 2004. Turnout is about a day behind. Get crackin' Oregon voters! The decisions are easy this time. Just vote yes on Measures 54-57, and no on the rest of the state measures. If you're not voting for Obama, may I suggest a good therapist?

Back to the gratitude of this post. I am grateful I can vote. I am grateful I can be reasonably sure my vote will count, and there is a paper trail that can foil tampering. I am grateful that having so many options makes it easier for all Oregonians to vote, not just the ones who have the luxury to take time off work, and the time to stand in line at a polling place on Tuesday. I am grateful to witness the sincere urgency and pride many people have in placing their ballots in the box.

Thanks on Thursday

I love my adopted city.

One of the things I am grateful for is how easy it is to be green. We have curbside recycling, which got even easier this summer. We've had an urban growth boundary for around 30 years, which has encouraged inner city development, denser living, and multi-purpose buildings. Farms are close by. We are number 1 in many sustainability indicators, look here. You can see from the chart that one of the downsides of avoiding urban sprawl is that there's less affordable housing. I have to say, though, that part of the charm of Portland is that people find ways to make it work not only through housemate situations, but through intentional communities. I just found out a co-worker of mine is part of a group developing one right in the city...building separately-owned condos around shared space...and they will do things like share meals and child care. I think we'll only see more of that creative kind of thinking in years to come.

What really sparked this post of thankfulness is my own employer. I am so grateful I work for such a forward-thinking county. The latest evidence is the eco-roof on top of the Central Library. (For those who don't know, I first started working for the library almost 15 years ago at the Central Library. There was scaffolding around the walls to protect us in case the walls came tumbling down. Three months after my hire date, we moved the books et. al. and the building was gutted, made safe, and beautifully renovated.) During that renovation a partial 5th floor was added for meeting rooms and offices...so I've seen that plain grey roof quite a few times. That landscape photo above looks out on the roof and the city view from up there. I wish the view were always open to the public, especially now we have the eco-roof.

Public tours are available, sign up here.

Thanks on Thursday

The cooler fall, sometimes rainy season has arrived. Now I have to remember to wear a jacket (and wear it home from work...sometimes I forget when the late afternoon is warmer). I have to remember to carry my little umbrella...always.



So this is just a quick note to say how grateful I am for my umbrella that folds up so small. I hardly notice it in my backpack, and it also fits in my jacket pocket. In my quest over the years for the right umbrella, I've found others as small, but they've broken easily during those windy winter rains, turning inside-out. When you don't drive, and carry all your needs for the day on your back and in your pockets, these little things mean a lot.

Thanks on Thur...I mean Saturday

I'm so busy trying to finish The Iliad that I missed this...and it's only the second week of my intention.

It goes without saying that I am grateful for Buddhism coming to America, and for my Zen Center. One of the reasons I'm so behind on my reading is that I finished the last paper I intended to... on Dogen. And this week I am grateful for Dogen. You have to read Dogen with a combination of intellectual curiosity, and the willingness to suspend all you think you know.

The crux of the matter that makes me so grateful to Dogen is this:
"It is difficult to investigate this life of ours or to thoroughly comprehend it. Is it life, or is it not life? Is it old age, or is it not old age? In accordance with different viewpoints, they are not at all identical, and the viewpoints themselves differ according to the individual's environment and abilities. If you want to understand such things, be determined and diligent in your practice. You should understand that life and death in their true form exist only within your own practice, and that your diligent practice does not exist within life and death." (Cook p 181)

and perhaps it is the crux of my paper. I don't know, perhaps I just blathered on. My other papers, my teacher liked. This one, different teacher, different material, I don't know.

Writing that paper, I opened to the understanding that it is continuous practice which sustains my life.

What is continuous practice, you ask? I have a workplace friend who is from Peru and a conservative Catholic. He told me he'd been doing a particular spiritual practice while he was working; he didn't think I'd understand. I understood perfectly.

It is possible to keep your mind focused throughout the day on a particular spiritual practice. It is also possible to have this spiritual hum just always be there at the base of your being. These are kind of pointing to continuous practice.

But what that last line means in the above quote is that it's not something that you do, it's something that does you. It is the emptiness (shunyata) through which all changes are possible, and everything changes. Let's not confuse this with God, though, mkay?

My favorite at this moment in time from Dogen's Gyoji:
This present moment of continuous practice should be engraved on your hearts as something to be greatly prized. Do not think that this silence is useless and empty. (Cook p. 186) Ceaseless practice is the one monastery that we enter, the one monastery that we emerge from, the one monastery that is the path left by flying birds, and the one monastery that is the whole universe. (Nearman pdf p 411)

Thanks on Thursday

A lot of bloggers do a Gratitude Tuesday, but I don't know who they are and am not part of that circle. In my American Buddhist Zen Center, we revere Thanksgiving. Of all the nationally recognized holidays, we can recognize in this one a Buddhist flavor of gratitude. So I thought I'd try to give thanks regularly on Thursdays.

Today I am especially thankful for massage therapists. I got a 90 minute massage today, something I've long needed. This week my upper back and shoulder muscles have been so tight a nerve was pinched and I had no strength in my right arm. At the moment I feel like someone pummeled my back, but I have mobility in my neck and arm again. Need I say the little bit of masochist in me likes the pain when the masseuse digs deep?

I am thankful also to my friend Lisa Mann, who recommended this massage therapist with nearly 20 years experience, Leah Hinchcliff. I go back on Tuesday. Leah is also a bass player, and that's how they know each other. Leah uses hot rocks. No, not like you see in the feel-good commercials where they lay them on your back and that's supposed to do something. No, she gets the muscles good and loose, then digs even deeper with the hot rock in lieu of her fingers. Saves her fingers, and gets the gremlins out of my back. I told her I felt like she was putting the strength of trees back into my body.